I can't sleep yesterday, been pondering over some things. So far I think my class(KL) now was the funniest class I've ever had, maybe because there's more guys than girls?

I was in an all girls' secondary school, my class was not too bad but not as crazy as my class now. Yes, there's some class clowns too and they are as funny but not as crazy ... even so, all girls ma, not really as crazy as guys, you see.

Or maybe I'm too quiet in class. I'm not those outstanding student, I'm not popular and I'm very low-profile. I gave everyone an impression I'm very quiet, I don't take the initiative(unless necessary), I mean I've tried to be sociable but I just don't know how to start the ball rolling, you see. And when I tried to start a conversation, I keep having these feelings that they find me a bore. But my close friends will know the real me, I can be talkative if I want to.

Anti-social, some people may think of me this way' cause I only stick to my clique. No choice, God had given me an introvert character, that's why. My secondary school days was not a memorable one, I mean as a class ... Some parts of the memories had been erased(not on purpose) except those damn funny incidents.

I always did badly for my studies, keep failing especially my maths, always get the pathetic marks. Guess no one are willing to teach a dumb ass like me, whenever I ask for help, the answer they gave me might as well they don't answer me at all. "Teach me how to do leh, can?" "Orr ... you take 1 + 2 'cause you need to get a 3 so must take 1 + 2" that's why I always ended up asking them to let me copied their work. It's my fault not to approach my teacher, too pai seh. Regarding maths, I need to take a long time to absorb, so many formulaes and keep changing so confusing, I'm not good at figures.

Once I approach a classmate, let's name her SH, about accounts, she teached me. I thought she is just like any others, so I just say "orr" in fact I still don't understand one lah, but she surprised me man ... after she taught me, she ask me to repeat to her! And I don't even know where to start man.

After that I dropped accounting. For the rest of the subjects, I did not approach her again 'cause I don't wish to see her throwing up blood while teaching me and died eventually *haha* no lah, don't want to bother her, I'm a dumb ass anyway.

I hate it when people always say they did not study at all(actually they did) and then they score so well. Or when asking for their help, they say they don't know how to do which they actually know how to, just doesn't want to teach. How selfish! I know sometimes really don't know hpw to explain but at least try your best. Whatever!

I always feel inferior, that I'm not good at anything. Sometime I feel so bad that I really don't want to contact anyone, including my best friends. Feel so inferior, no confidence in everything I do. I think I'm the only one in my class who failed O level? I don't know, didn't contact any of my secondary school classmates after graduation, in fact I don't really talk to them during sec sch days. The only photo I have with my classmates was class photo, lame right? *haha* I don't have my photos taken with my best friends either, I mean in school not outside. But at least I had fond memories with my besties, which I will always remembers. I love them!

Sometimes I feel so lonely, keep thinking that they don't like me. Maybe I'm sensitive but the way they behaves gave me that feelings. But fortunately, at least I still have my best friends, Gang of 4. Not to forget friends I've acquainted in ITE, they are great. New acquaintances are as dear to me as old ones, I really regard them as friends but I don't think some will think likewise. They will say keep in contact but when I really contact them, no reply. Ya lah, I know they are just entertaining only.

As I've said, I don't take the intiative, and I've taken the first step already and what I get is these. Now, if you want to contact me, you take the initiative. If not, I will not contact you either.

I'm contradicting myself. Anyway, these are all bygones ... just let it pass and look towards the future. The above mentioned was how I felt last time, bottled up for years already. I never confide to anyone even *him, I was dating him when I'm still in secondary school till now.

My class now gave me a different feeling.

Anyway, just blog out of boredom 'cause I'm waiting for *him to get ready. We are going to Suntec later.

So long!

I can't sleep yesterday, been pondering over some things. So far I think my class(KL) now was the funniest class I've ever had, maybe because there's more guys than girls?

I was in an all girls' secondary school, my class was not too bad but not as crazy as my class now. Yes, there's some class clowns too and they are as funny but not as crazy ... even so, all girls ma, not really as crazy as guys, you see.

Or maybe I'm too quiet in class. I'm not those outstanding student, I'm not popular and I'm very low-profile. I gave everyone an impression I'm very quiet, I don't take the initiative(unless necessary), I mean I've tried to be sociable but I just don't know how to start the ball rolling, you see. And when I tried to start a conversation, I keep having these feelings that they find me a bore. But my close friends will know the real me, I can be talkative if I want to.

Anti-social, some people may think of me this way' cause I only stick to my clique. No choice, God had given me an introvert character, that's why. My secondary school days was not a memorable one, I mean as a class ... Some parts of the memories had been erased(not on purpose) except those damn funny incidents.

I always did badly for my studies, keep failing especially my maths, always get the pathetic marks. Guess no one are willing to teach a dumb ass like me, whenever I ask for help, the answer they gave me might as well they don't answer me at all. "Teach me how to do leh, can?" "Orr ... you take 1 + 2 'cause you need to get a 3 so must take 1 + 2" that's why I always ended up asking them to let me copied their work. It's my fault not to approach my teacher, too pai seh. Regarding maths, I need to take a long time to absorb, so many formulaes and keep changing so confusing, I'm not good at figures.

Once I approach a classmate, let's name her SH, about accounts, she teached me. I thought she is just like any others, so I just say "orr" in fact I still don't understand one lah, but she surprised me man ... after she taught me, she ask me to repeat to her! And I don't even know where to start man.

After that I dropped accounting. For the rest of the subjects, I did not approach her again 'cause I don't wish to see her throwing up blood while teaching me and died eventually *haha* no lah, don't want to bother her, I'm a dumb ass anyway.

I hate it when people always say they did not study at all(actually they did) and then they score so well. Or when asking for their help, they say they don't know how to do which they actually know how to, just doesn't want to teach. How selfish! I know sometimes really don't know hpw to explain but at least try your best. Whatever!

I always feel inferior, that I'm not good at anything. Sometime I feel so bad that I really don't want to contact anyone, including my best friends. Feel so inferior, no confidence in everything I do. I think I'm the only one in my class who failed O level? I don't know, didn't contact any of my secondary school classmates after graduation, in fact I don't really talk to them during sec sch days. The only photo I have with my classmates was class photo, lame right? *haha* I don't have my photos taken with my best friends either, I mean in school not outside. But at least I had fond memories with my besties, which I will always remembers. I love them!

Sometimes I feel so lonely, keep thinking that they don't like me. Maybe I'm sensitive but the way they behaves gave me that feelings. But fortunately, at least I still have my best friends, Gang of 4. Not to forget friends I've acquainted in ITE, they are great. New acquaintances are as dear to me as old ones, I really regard them as friends but I don't think some will think likewise. They will say keep in contact but when I really contact them, no reply. Ya lah, I know they are just entertaining only.

As I've said, I don't take the intiative, and I've taken the first step already and what I get is these. Now, if you want to contact me, you take the initiative. If not, I will not contact you either.

I'm contradicting myself. Anyway, these are all bygones ... just let it pass and look towards the future. The above mentioned was how I felt last time, bottled up for years already. I never confide to anyone even *him, I was dating him when I'm still in secondary school till now.

My class now gave me a different feeling.

Anyway, just blog out of boredom 'cause I'm waiting for *him to get ready. We are going to Suntec later.

So long!

With soft gray eyes she gloomed and glowered;
With soft red lips she sang a song:
What knight might gaze upon her face,
Nor fare along?


For all her looks were full of spells,
And all her words, of sorcery;
And in some way they seemed to say,
"Oh, come with me! oh, come with me!
Oh, come with me, my love, Sir Kay!"--


How should he know the witch, I trow,
Morgan La Fey?


-- Cawein, Madison J. (1865-1914), "Morgan La Fey"

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